her boyfriend don't even care

A reflections
on the mirror, a shade of grey
a memory
standing still, in the middle ground
choices made, blinded by emotions
We should talk and not just speak

Troubles
brewing on the west bank
a reminder
of the time when we walk in space
together in a bliss
no worries of the event unfolding

A paradise
Promises that went unfulfilled
a place to call home
lying through your teeth
leaving us to fall apart
and the separation of each other

Right now

right now nothing is more expensive than regret...

right now no one is safe from lonliness

right now justice is being perverted in a court of law

right now you could be outside

right now the light from the star in M-5 is heading toward earth

right now guilt is turning someone inside out

right now youth is king

 

 

paper lanterns

So when are All my troubles going to end?
I'm understanding nOW that
We are only friends
To this day I'm asking why
I still think about you

burnt bridges

The finer things in life...
The most intimate secret of ours...
The shadow of the past that kept haunting you...
The future that were never meant to be...
 

Why am I still here ?

as the days turned to months
the bitter taste turned sweet
as the tug of war gets interesting
the pulling and the letting go
and so the game begins

and then the months turned to years
the feeling slowly wane and fade away
left on the wayside, gathering pace
On a downhill motion, the steep slope of a relationship
and so the game peaked

and slowly they fall apart
to a point of no return
when the heart no longer registered the one face   
to stay together is like lighting oneself on fire
not the way to play the game

and as the taste slowly turned sour
she'll began to realize
an epiphany,

"why am I still here"

burn heart burn...

I finally knows how it feel when your heart sank... it literally feels like your heart sank... that emptiness in your chest... that forced smiles and the brave face you put on... you're alive but it feels dead...

losing my will to live on...

"..and sometimes you closed your eyes and see the place where you used to live when you were young "

Events transpired without any hesitation and i am clueless as to why do i still lingered here. My aim is not set in stone and as far as i could see, the goal is no longer viable if stick here for long... I need a change, be it mentally, spiritually or physically... i need to be away, far from here (if it is only to be back here in the end... I bet it'll be worth it)...

The time has come for remembering what was lost in the not so distant past ago....

And you (walk on)

I love you
I hate you
I'd lie to you
I'd lie for you
I should have not told you this

I envy you
I want to be with you
I'd die for you
I'd let you die
I would let you save me (again)

I think you're hot
I think you're not
I'd remember you
I'd forget you
I never thought it'll come to this

I adore you
I disgust you
I'd take back what I've said
I'd do you again and again
I should have never let it come to this

I should have realized
I should have said the right words
I would have done it
If only I know
That time waits for no one but itself

the square root of three

** From the movie, Harold and Kumar - Escape from Guantanamo bay

the square root of three

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

dont have it all

Moving?

Out??

Soon??

Yeeehaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Yang kian mati

Ku pejamkan mata hati
dari sepi dan sinaran sang mentari
agar kau dapat mengerti
yang dunia ini tiada simpati
buat mereka yang sering lari
dari terus menempuhi hari
yang penuh dengan onak dan duri

Tiada untung dan juga rugi
asal usaha sepenuh hati
biarlah perit tetap ku gagahi
membakar semangat yang kian mati

Hidup ini hanya sekali
peluang datang dan juga pergi
jangan kau sesekali menghindari
apa yang datang dengan sendiri
jangan sekali kau sesalkan apa yang di ambil kembali
tiada yang selamanya kecuali mati

Epitaph

Are we dying by the suffocating grip of fascination?
Is infatuation a crime punishable by breaking the heart of one self?
Are you tired of this proverbial mundane ordinary routine of living a life worthy of dying?
Is falling for someone an unconscious reaction to being alone?

Where is the wiser when answers are no where to be found?
What will become of us if we keep on wondering?
When is this quest for explanation is going to end?

subtlety and not aristocracy
a shinning light in the face of mediocrity
break me free of this complacency
I don't want to be just another face in the crowd
Don't want to lead another meaningless consumer driven life

I'm tired of breaking someone else's fall
I'm done with playing the role of a mole
a caffeine laden drink and cocaine lined utensils
tell me if I'm telling an untruth

It ends tonight when the darkness turn to light
I'm sorry but I cant give you what you're asking of me

Are you leaving too ??

Starved to death in a land of plenty

In a land of make believe that doesn't believe in me

making a mockery out of novelty

poetic cryptic rhyme on the wall of shopping malls

everyman for himself

we are living in a world that is slowly getting smaller

mother nature wouldn't approve

the children of Y generation, the love child of "i-don't-give-a-f**k" mentality

Avoid any uneasy situation, solidarity is an unspoken field of gold

Music is the weapon of the future

beauty magazines will only makes you feel ugly

dawn of the uprising... rise my fellow oppressed

I wont apologize for being who i am...

tomorrow is just a song away

##"...I stole my personality from an anonymous source and I'm getting paid for it too. I don't feel bad about it..."

Nothing good can last...

## "tomorrow is just a song away..."

## - song away by hockey

belasah ajer

kat sini
bukan di sana
tempat aku berpijak
tempat aku terlanjur kata

dari tingkap ini
ku luahkan kepadamu
wahai dunia
tentang kita, tentang mereka

di ruangan ini
bertemu dendam dan kesumat
berdendang harapan dan impian
bersulam kisah berbenangkan mimpi

aku disini
tetap mengharap
titah dunia
yang tak kunjung padam

menempuh dugaan
menempa nama
dengan ihsan
pemilik diri

kalau bukan
itu mintamu
harap maaf
bukan niatku
untuk menganggu

The greatest hits (LOST)

they killed charlie...

"#5 - The First Time I Heard Myself On the Radio"
"#4 - Dad Teaching Me To Swim at Butlins"
"#3 - The Christmas Liam Gave Me the Ring"
"#2 - Woman Outside Covent Garden Calls Me a Hero"
"#1 - The Night I Met You"

"i want you to notice, when i'm not around, you're so fcukin' special, i wish i was special"
creep, radiohead.

imaginary relationship

Because if it were to mean anything at all it would have to make sense and we both know... i am merely trying to point out that i don't make any sense to you or the people around me... in the end nothing ever makes sense when we are both are at odd with each others... chill darling... life is already too exhausting with the never ending needs to make end meet... we might not even end up in a place we'd hope to be... someone smarter than me once said " it's not the end that counts, it's the journey"... while we are able to enjoy this... away with the solemn faces... smile a little... you know i melt.. at your smile... what a loser i am... :)

bury the hatchet love,
plant a smile,
on your wiry face,
be my solace

longing for belonging

outside, looking in
sampling emotions
an umbrella for the rainy days
inside looking outward

lurking for an opening
longing for belonging

outside, looking in
wandering thoughts
a silent question
"how must have it felt like?"

to belong, to believe and to be loved

outside, looking in
wasted on excitement
jealousy breeds anger
to belong on the inside

lurking for an opening
longing for belonging

inside, looking outward
guilty pleasures
ashamed by the joy
awkward sense of acceptance

outside, looking in
longing for belonging
inside, looking out
lurking for an opening

Don't know. don't care, don't give a damn!

i don't know if it will ever be an epic like you'd want it to be
i don't know if the world is big enough for the both of us
i don't know if what was said and done is reflecting my true intention
i don't know if I'll ever be as good as you'd want me to be
i don't know much about everything
i don't know how to go on when everything seems empty and lifeless
i don't know what will become of us once words lost their meaning
i don't know if the truth is harder to swallow than reality itself
i don't know when will i grow up... kidding around is a blast
all i know is... the world is fucked up and i'm trapped...

Sweet uncertainties

feeling the full brunt of loneliness is definitely not a highlight of anyone's day... but somehow these past few days has been the loneliest I have felt for years... Even in the company of my friends, the feeling is slowly eating me inside... must be the weather... yeah that has to be it... the silence of emptiness is definitely deafening... together, togetherness... to get her ???