Epitaph

Are we dying by the suffocating grip of fascination?
Is infatuation a crime punishable by breaking the heart of one self?
Are you tired of this proverbial mundane ordinary routine of living a life worthy of dying?
Is falling for someone an unconscious reaction to being alone?

Where is the wiser when answers are no where to be found?
What will become of us if we keep on wondering?
When is this quest for explanation is going to end?

subtlety and not aristocracy
a shinning light in the face of mediocrity
break me free of this complacency
I don't want to be just another face in the crowd
Don't want to lead another meaningless consumer driven life

I'm tired of breaking someone else's fall
I'm done with playing the role of a mole
a caffeine laden drink and cocaine lined utensils
tell me if I'm telling an untruth

It ends tonight when the darkness turn to light
I'm sorry but I cant give you what you're asking of me

Are you leaving too ??

Starved to death in a land of plenty

In a land of make believe that doesn't believe in me

making a mockery out of novelty

poetic cryptic rhyme on the wall of shopping malls

everyman for himself

we are living in a world that is slowly getting smaller

mother nature wouldn't approve

the children of Y generation, the love child of "i-don't-give-a-f**k" mentality

Avoid any uneasy situation, solidarity is an unspoken field of gold

Music is the weapon of the future

beauty magazines will only makes you feel ugly

dawn of the uprising... rise my fellow oppressed

I wont apologize for being who i am...

tomorrow is just a song away

##"...I stole my personality from an anonymous source and I'm getting paid for it too. I don't feel bad about it..."

Nothing good can last...

## "tomorrow is just a song away..."

## - song away by hockey

belasah ajer

kat sini
bukan di sana
tempat aku berpijak
tempat aku terlanjur kata

dari tingkap ini
ku luahkan kepadamu
wahai dunia
tentang kita, tentang mereka

di ruangan ini
bertemu dendam dan kesumat
berdendang harapan dan impian
bersulam kisah berbenangkan mimpi

aku disini
tetap mengharap
titah dunia
yang tak kunjung padam

menempuh dugaan
menempa nama
dengan ihsan
pemilik diri

kalau bukan
itu mintamu
harap maaf
bukan niatku
untuk menganggu

The greatest hits (LOST)

they killed charlie...

"#5 - The First Time I Heard Myself On the Radio"
"#4 - Dad Teaching Me To Swim at Butlins"
"#3 - The Christmas Liam Gave Me the Ring"
"#2 - Woman Outside Covent Garden Calls Me a Hero"
"#1 - The Night I Met You"

"i want you to notice, when i'm not around, you're so fcukin' special, i wish i was special"
creep, radiohead.

imaginary relationship

Because if it were to mean anything at all it would have to make sense and we both know... i am merely trying to point out that i don't make any sense to you or the people around me... in the end nothing ever makes sense when we are both are at odd with each others... chill darling... life is already too exhausting with the never ending needs to make end meet... we might not even end up in a place we'd hope to be... someone smarter than me once said " it's not the end that counts, it's the journey"... while we are able to enjoy this... away with the solemn faces... smile a little... you know i melt.. at your smile... what a loser i am... :)

bury the hatchet love,
plant a smile,
on your wiry face,
be my solace

longing for belonging

outside, looking in
sampling emotions
an umbrella for the rainy days
inside looking outward

lurking for an opening
longing for belonging

outside, looking in
wandering thoughts
a silent question
"how must have it felt like?"

to belong, to believe and to be loved

outside, looking in
wasted on excitement
jealousy breeds anger
to belong on the inside

lurking for an opening
longing for belonging

inside, looking outward
guilty pleasures
ashamed by the joy
awkward sense of acceptance

outside, looking in
longing for belonging
inside, looking out
lurking for an opening

Don't know. don't care, don't give a damn!

i don't know if it will ever be an epic like you'd want it to be
i don't know if the world is big enough for the both of us
i don't know if what was said and done is reflecting my true intention
i don't know if I'll ever be as good as you'd want me to be
i don't know much about everything
i don't know how to go on when everything seems empty and lifeless
i don't know what will become of us once words lost their meaning
i don't know if the truth is harder to swallow than reality itself
i don't know when will i grow up... kidding around is a blast
all i know is... the world is fucked up and i'm trapped...

Sweet uncertainties

feeling the full brunt of loneliness is definitely not a highlight of anyone's day... but somehow these past few days has been the loneliest I have felt for years... Even in the company of my friends, the feeling is slowly eating me inside... must be the weather... yeah that has to be it... the silence of emptiness is definitely deafening... together, togetherness... to get her ???

Fine line

Nice one boss!!!

The trouble with playing with fire is..
you'll get burnt

The trouble with living on the edge is..
you'll fall into oblivion

The trouble with being in an unrequited love is..
You'll die daily knowing she'd never knew how you truly feels
because you know... you don't stand a chance
not now not then not ever
It hurt more than it cure

The trouble is
this was never meant to be published!!!

as little as possible...

meddling my wiry feeling over the thoughts of the future
i am downed by the fact that logic makes no sense
when my world is turn upside down
no solace in sight, no shoulder to bear the brunt
my place is not here, there or anywhere

looking at my feet, wondering if they'd make it through
this journey of never ending tirade from my so call best friends
i am so lost...
blowing off hot and cold when it could as simple as accepting defeat
to know your battle, to know when to give up and to know which battle is worth fighting for
To leave the option open even when there is no end in sight

I could have save myself,
I could lay awake in the cold of the darkness
As the moon smile ever so brightly
As the stars shine ever so eternally
As the sun lay to rest for the day

_ to know eagerness has it limits
_ "you cant just go forcing something if it is just not right"
_ it might just be a reason to let you off easily

... Stay away from Juliet!!!

mirror effect!!!

yadyreve elttil a eid i
ecaps ni klaw ew nehw
emit eht fo dednimer eb tub pleh tnac
yadyreve
tops emas eht ssap klaw

use a mirror
bottoms up
:P

we are the substitute people!

Claire Colburn: Sadness is easier because its surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free.

If it wasn't this... it'd be something else.

* elizabethtown (2005)

Decompromised

Break me out,
I'm suffocating,


i've just realized that I'm still infatuated... with her!

Through the looking glass

Through this ignorant eyes
The world seems a little less complicated
Things were done in stop motion, waiting for parity
Through the looking glass, through the restless beating of the heart

Through this blackened lungs,
Years of addiction is now taking its toll
One small puff and no looking back, slowly itching its way
Shorten the experience, through the cancer infested heart

Through this time of despair
She smile of a story untold, glorified picture of yesteryear
Where the painter name echo through the decades
Through her mesmerizing eyes, through her ever lasting smile

Through this ignorant eyes
Through this emotion sickness
Through this uneducated weary look
Through this wall of silence
You will see, you will notice
You will perish and soon you will be awaken
Time is of no essence
Only life...

Malakite

I waved my hands as you waved yours
That is when I know I’d be wrong to like
Try as hard as I could, try as I may
No switch in the world could turn off this sense

Late night supper and early breakfast
Cheesy spaghetti, fish sandwich and iced chocolate
I steered the car with a pounding heart
Too fast too soon, too obvious to you

Cigarettes breaks and weekends outing
Pineapple juice and a daily rush of blood
Sleep deprived but that’s okay my love
The further I get the more confused I become

Overdressed cup cakes and handmade gesture
Fragrance of failures is all I smell
Scattered memories all framed into one
Delay in delivery is no more a concern

Race to the beach, race to your heart
I saw the uneasiness your face concealed
If only i could find a less cliched word for sorry
Far away from here is now my agenda

Shall this impair wash me to back to health
Ready or not, this is where my journey end
Apart we are, what better time to leave
Time will tell if I’m all but well

I see shadows in the fireworks we shared
Roundabout of misunderstanding under a dimmed moonlight
Now that everything is clear, what beautiful world we have
For all that have happened, I’d still moved mountains if you ask me to

Her Last Day

Soon it will be over,

Togetherness was never forever,

Personal wars between needs and desires,

Don't you know, it is wrong to put flames with fires,

And I'd lie to have it any other way,

For what I wanted will be her dismay,

So now she's well on her way to places with promises,

While I'm still here counting my hits and misses,

good luck, beautiful

the words i might have ate

i'm hurt and in so much pain
dont even know where to begin
everything from herein
will be a piece of my undying love for the perfect rain

pick me up, lose me again
all i am is trying in vain
somewhere beyond the similarity
lies the different between pain and sanity

dictate, and procreate
the words i might have ate
sail the hope, for more hope
too much is never enough

making a mockery of out novelty
nothing seems to be on parity
everybody has a price
everybody has something to give
and everyone seems at odd with the world

a perfect rain is more than a drizzle but nothing like a downpour...
a perfect rain sways in the wind, to the left and to the right...
a perfect rain inspire, endure and elevate people...
a perfect rain is not an inconvenience, but a gift...
a perfect rain refresh everything, the car, the people and even the grass...
dont you just love the smell of grass after the rain...

you screamed happiness

curiousity, cowardly
feel the echo of emptiness
used pickup-lines, cigarette butts
broken hearted damsel in distress

May we feel someday
serenity not empathy
love not hatred
she may be empty
forever will not be

consequences, pay the price,
honesty and travesty
delirium, you scream happiness
not what we wanted it to be

May we feel someday
serenity not empathy
love not hatred
she may be empty
forever will not be

He sees, but not what you wanted
she cries, reasons of the heart
the uneasy feeling will show you the way
darkness shadowed the path to me
in time, indeed, kill the messenger
teary eyed widower raged on

they hear you me
golden horses on the tree
delirium, you scream happiness
not what we wanted it to be

to be...
to be...

curiousity, cowardly
feel the echo of emptiness
used pickup-lines, cigarette butts
broken hearted damsel in distress

foreign cars

whatever you say
maybe baby, forever will be

what went wrong
when you say this is right

we are apart
in here, the sunshine sure ain't bright

pull me up
hold me down
spilled the blood in a cup
i hate the lights in your frown

maybe baby, forever will be
maybe baby, we weren't meant to be